Let me share with you all of the things that go through a teacher’s head (and the kinds of conversations we are having with our kids) during the first two days of school. Why Just two days? Because, that is how long the first week is in the district I work for. I know, it makes no sense, but it does bring me to my first teacher thought:
- Thank goodness we only have kids for two days. You see, if we had to have students for more than two days, we would probably go into shock. And die. It is really overwhelming to go from a wonderful summer with no adulting* to never ending questions, immaturity, pressure, and responsibility.
- “No, your head will not fit all the way through the sleeve of your sweatshirt.” – to an eighth grader.
- It’s not even 10am on the first day, and some kid has already been shoved in a locker. That really did happen. The kids thought they were being funny, they were ‘playin’, and even the kid who was locked inside was laughing when he came out – but seriously?? SMH.
- “My mom texts and drives all the time” – information from a seventh grader.
- I am definitely going to need more coffee. This thought came after I had already had two cups and it wasn’t even 11am.
- “No, it would not have been common sense for people to turn to cannibalism during the Great Depression.” – Where do these kids get these ideas?
- “If I could be any animal, I would be a grizzly bear so I could scare people … *one paragraph later* …I wouldn’t get much hibernation in… mating season, enough said.” – a very scary eighth grader wrote.
- Why did I not bring more snacks? I literally had my breakfast an hour before I asked myself this question. I hadn’t walked this much in one morning and my body was definitely suffering from the sudden change from sedentary life by the pool to 10,000 steps before noon. I needed more fuel.
- “What is a cicada killer?” – seventh grader. “It kills cicadas.” – my coteacher. “But what is it carrying?” – seventh grader. “A cicada.” – my coteacher. “But what is it?” – seventh grader. “It is a cicada killer.” – my coteacher. ‘Yes, but what is it?” – seventh grader.
- So do these kids know it is important to start bathing more often?
*For the record, I did do some adulting this summer.. like mowing the lawn, taking care of the dogs, cleaning the house… it was really hard.